Joel Severe and the Magical Ball of FF Dot Net
by J. Severe
Summary: When normal kid Joel Severe finds a magical glowing ball, he takes it home. Deciding to use it for sport practice, he washes it, only to find that the ball allows access to a hidden world when wet. He is sucked inside it and finds a distorted world...
1. Chapter 1

It was just a normal day. I was walking down the street, on the way to the supermarket, minding my own business. As I was crossing the street, I spotted something glowing off in the distance. I had no idea what it was, but I was pretty darn intrigued by the thing, so I decided to get to the source. I raced over to the object, which was behind a tree. I got a good look at it, and it seemed like it was some sort of transparent orb. I picked it up and closely observed it.

_What the heck _is _this thing?_

I tried bouncing it up and down, rubbing it, but nothing happened. It seemed that the thing was there, glowing, just for the heck of it. As if someone had previously had this glowing ball, lost it, and it rolled over to this spot and I had found it. Well, I had gone through the trouble of dashing through the sidewalk to get it; I might as well bring it home. So I took down my bag and put the ball in. Once it was inside, I continued on my way to the supermarket.

_Hmm. What should I get? The low-fat milk or the organic milk? Decisions, decisions…_

After doing my shopping, I hopped back home. Well, not actually hop, as… well, how would YOU feel if you saw a teenager hopping all the way to his house? You'd think the guy was crazy. So I didn't "hop" per se, rather, I walked home. But so as to not reuse the word "walk", I replaced it with "hop" so as to change up the vocabulary and… n-never mind. So I got home, plopped the groceries on the table for Mom to get whenever she came home from that job of hers, and went up to my room to play some video games.

_Just when I thought Call of Duty couldn't get any harder… It got harder. Oh, joy…_

So after I had my first-person shooter fix, I flopped down on my bed and pondered what to do. I looked at my bag on the floor. I opened it and took out the ball. It was still emitting that golden glow. I tried to guess what the secret behind it was. Was it a volleyball that the angels used in heaven or something? Whatever it was, it wasn't normal.

_Hey, the sun's still out. Why don't I go practice some soccer? After all, I stink on my JV team. I could use the training._

Well, it WAS a ball, and what do you do with balls? You play with them. Y'know, in sports; football, volleyball, and all that jazz. I decided to put it to the test. First, I had to clean the thing, because it looked WAY too dirty, despite radiating light. I took it to the bathroom and put it in the sink, then dumped water on it. It might have just been my eye, but I thought I saw an image form in the ball's transparent insides. I blinked and the image was gone.

_That's some freaky stuff._

I dumped some more water, and I saw ANOTHER image that vanished just as quickly as it appeared. I decided to turn on the knobs full-power and fill up the sink with water. Once I had done that, I turned it off. Didn't want Mom to come home to a flooded house. Now, I could see the image within the ball clearly. It was an image of some kind of city… some type of town… What's this? It looked like the townspeople… They were in chains… and… on a huge pillar towering all of them… was some fat guy in a robe… He had a thick beard. Nice beard. Fluffy and manly. He had a menacing look on his face. As if he was a dictator of some sort.

_Great, he's dressed classy, he's a dictator, AND he's mad fat. What a wonderful trio of features. _

I felt like I could just put my hand into the ball and touch the miniature town inside. Of course, that's ridiculous, but I reached for the ball anyway. I touched the surface. A ripple was sent throughout the image and… you'll never guess this… the people inside the image staggered and fell down. Even the pillar cracked and tumbled down with the king-like dude on it! I pulled my hand back. What just happened?

_So anytime I touch this thing, the world inside gets all messed up? So with just a few taps, I can cause Armageddon? Whoa…_

I looked closer at the ball. I nearer I got to it, the more real it looked. Eventually, I got so close to it that my nose was basically touching the surface. The people were looking around, as if trying to find the source of their "little disaster" and then… they looked straight at me. One of the guys pointed their fingers straight at me, and… Well, everything went black.

_Ugh… Huh? Wh-where am I? What the heck is this? Wh-why am I not in my room? Wh-wh-whaaaa!_

I opened my eyes. I found myself in a pitch black area. I looked around. I had no idea where I was. Well, I knew I was in a pitch black area, but I didn't know WHERE the pitch black area was. Muttering. I heard muttering. I looked in the corner of my eye. I saw a figure in a black cloak. I turned around in its direction… but it had vanished! I saw it in the corner of my eye again. I turned in its direction, but it had disappeared once more.

_What's with this thing? Either I have the world's WORST eyesight, or this dude is playing tricks on me…_

Suddenly, I felt a cold tap on my shoulder. I turned around, and there it was. I was face-to-face with the mysterious figure. I asked him who he is. The mysterious figure just replied that it didn't matter who he was, but what he was about to do. I asked him what he was going to do. He stated that what he was going to do was going to be done soon enough, and so I should just wait it out. I asked him if he could at LEAST give me a hint. He just stated that what I would soon discover would not just be a great thing, but may also be the worst thing I ever encountered, and that the mystery of who he is was just the beginning.

_Man, this guy would put the Riddler out of a job. Maybe HE should be Batman's newest enemy…_

I reminded him that had nothing to do with what he said he was going to do. He stated it did. I asked him how so. He said that just his presence here… standing before me… was all that he needed to do. He said he would reflect what I faced in my time here. Darkness… mystery… even hurt. He then went on to say I was the only one who could change the worst thing I ever encountered to a good thing, and not just solve my own hurt, but the hurt of others as well.

_I wondered if that was Tetsuya Nomura in the cloak? You know, the guys who works on the Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts games? It sounds like something he'd cook up…_

I asked the guy if he could get to the darn point already. He asked what fun would that be, and vanished in a puff of smoke, leaving me even MORE clueless than before I woke up in here, if that's even possible. Just then, a couple of hands emerged from the ground and grabbed my legs! I yelled, but I was pulled THROUGH the ground! I landed on a metal floor. I looked up. The surroundings were still pitch black. I heard a loud "THUD!" behind me! I turned around and saw this HUGE beast behind me, and its roar shook the whole pace!

_When I say beast, I don't mean your mother. I'm referring to this big monster thing with huge horns and giant fangs and claws and junk that looks like it could send Godzilla running home._

I jumped up and backed up in fear. The beast kept its eyes locked on me. I started running away! The beast started charging at me! I screamed for my life, though I was sure no one would come to my rescue. I quickly stopped at the edge of the platform, which would seem if I went any farther, I'll fall into darkness oblivion. The beast slipped and fell OFF the platform and fell into the chasms below! I backed away and took a deep breath. Just when it seemed I could relax, though… The floor started to crackle! Suddenly, the floor broke like shards of glass and I and it fell into the dark below!

_I was more concerned with not running into the beast than falling for eternity into neverending darkness. So sue me._

After I was falling for like, half a minute, I broke THROUGH the darkness and started to fall through some clouds! I grunted in pain! I continued falling through the air until I could see land far down. As happy as I was to see land, I was worried I would splatter on the ground! At the last second, I grabbed hold of a flag pole that was hanging off the edge of a building. I looked down. I felt woozy… My fingers started to slip! I tried to hold on, but I ended up letting go and fell! It was all over!

_Many people say fat folks are useless. Well, I concur. If you happen to fall and land on a fat guy, no harm will be done to you due to the fat guy's cushion-y girth. The fat guy himself, however, will need to schedule a visit to his chiropractor._

THUD! What was this? I landed on the floor and I wasn't dead? How could this be? I looked below and saw that I had landed on some fat guy. See? Told you fat guys weren't useless. I got up and looked around. I had landed smack dab in the middle of a town… the town I saw in the image of the glowing ball… One of the boys walked up to me with tears in my eyes… He said… "You killed our king." What? I-I didn't mean to -! Just then, a bunch of officers grabbed me by the arms and started dragging me! I asked them where they were taking me. They said they were placing me in a dungeon until they decided what inhumane punishment they were going to give me.

_Perhaps the worst thing about being dragged into a dungeon, convicted of murder, is that you KNOW you're going to get a horrid punishment, but the worst thing is, the guards aren't in a hurry to tell you what it is. So all the while, you're in your cell, scared out of your mind, jizzing your pants, trying to write a will on the rock wall, and then you get taken out to be hung without deciding how much money to give to your cousin Tom._

So I sat in the dungeon, kind of bored and freaking out at the same time. I didn't know what to do. Suddenly, I heard crackling sounds. I looked in the direction of a part of the cell that was completely covered in a shadow, and some crazy old guy with crooked teeth, a bald head, and a creepy looking smile. But then again, all smiles from old folks are weird, so it was nothing new. He asked me if I knew where I was. I told him I didn't have the darndest idea. He told me I was in… the digitalized Fan-fiction dot Net.

_Now, if there's one thing I can respect, it's irony. And one such irony is when the website that's hosting the story is shown as a bad place in said story. Kind of like with FOX and The Simpsons._

I asked him what in the heck he was talking about. He told me that this… this was Fan-fiction DOT net, a website where numerous fan-fictions were posted. He went on to tell me that when you went inside the computer and visited the website, it's like it created a world of its own, and this was Fan-fiction's world. However, the world was under control by a power so evil that no one could defeat it but the Chosen One. And he went on to say… that **I **was the chosen one!


	2. Chapter 2

_Now I was used to writing stories about folks who were chosen ones and all that, but never had such a thing occurred where I was ACTUALLY the chosen one in real life. Ain't that, like, irony or whatever? Did I say something with irony already? Gee, I'm so uncreative._

I didn't know how to respond to that. I was the chosen one? I was supposed to defeat some evil that towered over a website? It was happening too fast. No, as a matter of fact, I was probably dreaming. Yes, I was dreaming. I began to smack myself. "Wake. Up. ME! Wake. Up!" "Gee, and people thought _I _was crazy", said the old guy. "Ugh it's no use...", I muttered. "Looks like all hope is lost. Our chosen one is stupider than ME!", the old guy grunted. "Hey, what do you mean I'm stupid?", I shouted back. "I mean you're stupid", the guy replied back.

_Gracias, Capitan Obvious._

"I'll show you! I'll save this... weird fic place of yours! And then everyone will hail as this uber epic hero dude, and everyone will love me! Well, everyone loves me already because I'm foxeh, but... Well, those who didn't like me before for some strange reason will like me then! And then I'll go home and everything will be fine and dandy!", I exclaimed triumphantly. "Cool story, bro. Why don't you get out of those chains, and then we'll talk", the old guy stated, before sipping a cup of tea.

_... and that was weird because I didn't see him with a cup of tea before. Heck, I didn't see him with ANYTHING._

"Fine. Er... uh..." There wasn't anyway I could free myself. "Eh! Eh!" I tried to pull the chains out of the wall, but they were in tight. "UGH! UGH!" I put my foot to the wall and tried to pull it out, but to no avail. "Stupid... little..." I tried to bite the chains. "Grrr! Grrr!" Nothing. "Aaah!" I headwalled on the hard wall, and collapses to the ground due to the impact. However, I had caused a crack in the wall, which quickly made other cracks. "Eh?" I tugged my chains once more and... "FWOOF~!" They came right out of the wall. "Whee!" Also, this caused the wall to topple over, exposing me to the outside, which was just a bunch of dirt seeing as we were underground. I faced the old guy. "Ha ha! I did it! In your face!", I chucked. "You still didn't get the chains off your hand", he noted.

_Crap._

"Oh, what the heck! At least I can walk out! You're still stuck in here! You shouldn't be talking!_", _I exclaimed. The old guy slipped his hands from the chains easily. "What deh -?" The guy pulled out a stick and waved it over his head. Some sparkly stuff came out and soon, he transformed into this cool-looking guy with a robe on. "I'm a wizard, fool. You do not insult the wizards", he replied. "Wait, you're a wizard!", I questioned in disbelief.

_That would explain the Tea that Came Out of Nowhere._

"Yeppers", he replied. "So you left me here to get out of the chains by MYSELF instead of cracking out some of your magic?", I yelled. "Hey, I can't do everything for you", the old guy, er, wizard, said. He touched the chains on my hand with his wand and they broke off.


End file.
